Very aged parents /Parents très âgés

Aging is a challenge, equally for the aging person as for the caregiver and family. Truly, diminishment and pain and suffering are intensely felt by the individual, but the entire circle around the senior is impacted. As one in the circle, I can rationalize that one day I may be privileged to be a very aged adult, requiring assistance and care and love. But for now, in the early years of my retirement, I have constantly the picture of my elderly parents before me, as their capacities in all spheres decrease. Their reliance on me and their dependence were never factored into my idea of retirement. I say this not only admitting some resentment, but also because I presume others who are planning to retire soon have not considered that their aging parents needs will be a concern of theirs and perhaps a time-absorber.

À ma retraite, j’ai oublié de considerer le temps, l’énérgie et l’impuissance fâce au veillissement de mes parents. Ce n’est pas que les rôles de parent et enfant soient bousculés…la réalité est qu’ils sont dépendent sur moi et ma famille pour combler leurs jours, défendre leurs intérêts, et veiller à leur santé et sécurité. Mon père continue à être lucide et à vouloir diriger et tout controller, mais il n’a pas les moyens physiques. Ma mère est plus sereine car son Alzheimer’s la garde à l’abri de la vie.

The true blessing in all this is the support of a caring circle of friends. Some have lost their parents, some have lived through the stages of dementia in nursing homes with their elderly ones. Others have younger parents. They remind me that 10 years ago our family dynamic was so different. It helps to look at old photos and remember the good times, in order to be able to continue on trying to be adequate for Mom and Dad`.

Les derniers miles sont longs parfois. À la fin du chemin, j’espère pourvoir dire que j’ai gardé mon bon humeur la pluspart du temps et que  la dédication et la persistence  seront recompensées par une quietude d’âme et serviront comme  l’expression de mon amour pour ces deux êtres exceptionnels qui sont mes parents.

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